Everyone knows that relationships are hard work. Especially your marriage, can I get an Amen? Even though my hubby and I have been together since the 4th grade (roughly, but who’s counting?), people think we have a fairytale marriage. And that couldn’t be further from the truth. We have to work just as hard as the next couple.
So, I’ve compiled a list of non traditional ways to keep the flame burning:
1. Turn off the electronics and engage with each other.
OK, maybe you’ve heard this before but it bears repeating. Because we’re all guilty of this, aren’t we? After a long day at work, we sit in front of the TV parallel to our partner. Maybe we even stare at our phones simultaneously- ouch, double whammy. Night after night, this just isn’t healthy. It’s nothing more than a distraction and it’s taking away from actual talking, learning about each other and cuddling, which are all major connection builders.
2. Aim for 2-3x a week.
Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking ’bout a little sexy time. I know that it isn’t the easiest thing to accomplish especially with demanding work schedules and kids to tend to. But its crucial to keeping your relationship afloat. In my opinion, sex is totally underrated. Ladies: be open. Guys: make it easy for them.
3. Do NOT play the comparison game.
What I mean is never, ever compare yourself to another couple. Because each of us is different, comparing yourself to the likes of others will only make you feel bad about yourself and your relationship every time. Guaranteed. Even the Bible warns about comparison; probably because it was a horrible idea even thousands of years ago!
Besides, nobody knows what a couple is like when they’re alone. No matter what, be proud of your marriage- you’re pretty great, too!
4. Never think you’re exempt from infidelity.
Gasp, did she really just say that?! Why, yes I did. Listen, I’m not saying your spouse will probably cheat on you but I do think that assuming it happens to other people and not you is reckless thinking. We’re all subjected to temptation and although it’s important to trust each other, don’t get lazy. Keep the lines of communication open and be sure to reference #2. I’ve talked to people who have experienced infidelity and the one thing they always said was, “I never thought this would happen to us.” So don’t make me reference you in a blog post. Just don’t.
5. Compliment your spouse once a day- everyday.
This sounds simple, and it surely is probably the easiest and least time consuming on the whole list. But, its something we forget the importance of. Lifting the other person up (even when they don’t deserve it) is a very small way to make a big difference. It can be as basic as “I like those jeans on you,” to “I love the way you work so hard for our family.” Speaking that positivity into your relationship will definitely work wonders. Hey, they might even start to return the favor, too.
|Oh yeah, and don’t take yourselves too seriously. You gotta laugh together (he made me do it).
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