Marriage: Are You Keeping Score, Mama?

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I am interrupting the blog I promised to give you for this one instead (plus, the vlog isn’t finished yet!). This past weekend, my husband and I got into a debate. It’s a road we’ve walked down before, but we cannot seem to come to an agreement about.
It’s softball. Now before you scoff at me, it really does get in the way of our marriage at times! Let me explain.
My husband grew up playing baseball. He got all the way to the minor leagues. He friggin’ loves the game! As he says, “It’s a part of me.” Sweet, right? Sorta. Now that he doesn’t play baseball, he has moved onto a Men’s Traveling Softball league. This means he is gone a few weekends out of the month. But only during the season…which because we live in the south is usually from January to November.
I should say that it’s not always two weekends a month (sometimes only one), sometimes they’re one-day tournaments, and occasionally they’re local. But, a lot of times they’re not.
It poses a problem at times for a couple of reasons:

1.) I have a demanding career in the entertainment industry that has me working fifty hours a week (much to my dismay). I look forward to the weekends where it’s the three of us spending time together. It’s my light at the end of the tunnel during the week! When we’re not all present, it feels different.

2.) He gets a complete break. My husband gets to be family-free four days out of the month. And I get none. Not that I would want/need that many, but is that fair? I mean, we have gone to some tournaments where the babe has had tantrums and has made it a hard on me. In turn I have been frustrated and my husband said it wasn’t “fun” for him knowing we were both struggling. Hmm, so this has to be a total Zen experience too?

3.) I am jealous, yes. Why? Not sure. I could take breaks if I wanted. I could totally plan a girl’s weekend. I’d miss my family but I could. Why don’t I? Because I would feel guilty maybe. Planning a girl’s weekend is something that none of my friends would be up for because ultimately, they would feel too guilty too.

It makes me wonder, why do guys make time for their guy time and woman don’t? I mean, they have rooms dedicated to them being a guy (the beloved, Man Cave) and relaxing. Why don’t we do this stuff for ourselves? More importantly, what are we going to do about it, Mamas?!?!
I don’t have the answer. I just know that this causes us to keep score about who gets this time and that time, and who owes who. It’s a headache! And immature in a way.

How do you avoid the score-keeping in your relationship??

And while we’re at it, what would you put in your Woman Cave? (When my husband and I had this discussion, my answer was a nice table, cozy chair, fluffy rug, coffee, small TV and a wet bar!)  Leave comments below!

About Rana Mancini Cavanaugh

Rana is a Chic Mama dedicated to helping other Mama's live a fuller, happier, healthier life through this blog. She is proud to announce she just finished an eBook on how to travel with kids and is finishing up her first novel. She is a happy wife to her sweetheart since the fourth grade and Mama to a lovely little girl. Happy Travels! xo

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