Should Women Change Their Last Name When They Get Married??

“What’s in a name?” 

I don’t know the answer to that, but I always wanted to quote Shakespeare.

We ran out of cheese for her middle and last name… oh boy.

Now, I have a confession to make: I haven’t changed my name after over two years of being married. I know, horrible, right? Before you judge, hear me out.

It’s not that I don’t like my hubby’s last name. It’s lovely. It’s just that I reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy like mine. I mean, it’s the name I’ve had well, forever. It’s me. It’s my family. And I can’t seem to give it up.
Here’s why:

A–  My dad passed a couple of years ago and I feel like I’m letting him go if I let my name go. Is that strange? I was very close with him. To just give up my name, his name, would be painful.

B– I’m Italian and my last name is very ethnic. Not like, one-of-my-grandma’s-was-Italian, Italian but like, 100%-full-blooded-Italian. And although my hubby is Italian too, his last name doesn’t indicate that. I love that my last name oozes my heritage.

C– I don’t know if I should just hyphenate, or… everyone says to just move my last name to my middle name, but who actually calls you by your entire name? I’m afraid it will disappear there.

I definitely believe that when two people marry, they become one. I’m all for that, I really am. I’m just having a difficult time shedding my former self. Am I looking at it wrong or do I have to shelf my old self? Not to get Sex and the City on ya, but I am wondering…

My hubby doesn’t have much empathy for my quandary. In fact, it down right annoys him because it gets in the way sometimes. There’s constant explanation of “yes we’re married, I just haven’t changed my name yet.” To which someone always asks “Oh! Newlyweds?” Can we say awkward? I wish I had a better answer for them. I’d like to know who decided that women give up their last name anyways!

**A little background info on this matter- this all came about because at my cousin’s wedding shower this past weekend, someone pointed out that me and my two aunts I was sitting in between hadn’t changed our names. My sister hasn’t either. It runs in the familia! Hey, at least I’m in good company. And yes, Stella has her daddy’s last name, but my last name is her middle name. Does this sound complicated or what?

So what do you all think? Am I totally crazy for feeling this way? What do you think I should do? Comments welcome!

About Rana Mancini Cavanaugh

Rana is a Chic Mama dedicated to helping other Mama's live a fuller, happier, healthier life through this blog. She is proud to announce she just finished an eBook on how to travel with kids and is finishing up her first novel. She is a happy wife to her sweetheart since the fourth grade and Mama to a lovely little girl. Happy Travels! xo

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